Love Hurts
by queenofcamelot
Summary: Forced away from the one woman he loves, Dean falls in to old habits that help him get through his pain.


Title: Love Hurts

Author: Author: Queen of camelot

Fandom: BTVS/SPN

Pairing: Buffy/Dean implied

Warning: mild suggestive themes

Summary: Forced away from the one woman he loves, Dean falls in to old habits that help him get through his pain.

Authors Note: This is a one shot in the world of the story,' Revelations of Dawn.' Enjoy

Status: One shot-completed

Disclaimer: Supernatural and all related characters are copyright The CW Network/ Eric Kripke as Series Creator and Executive Producer. No infringement intended. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel and all related characters are copyright Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. No infringement intended. The author does not profit nor gain any monetary gifts for the story. _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Love means…letting the one you love go._

We all have an idea of love. The moments that come to us in daydreams, the hope we find in a smile, the perfection in a kiss. Love is the force that drives us to acts we would never usually perform, to thoughts we would never usually entertain.

Dean knew, as well as Buffy knew the dark side of love. It's not all light and happiness. Love is a force stronger than anything else we have ever known. We have known lies that come in love's disguise; we have known the hissing fire of jealousy and the blindness of passion. Perhaps better than anyone, we have known obsession.

But in the end, it all came from love.

He had lied to Buffy, told her that he didn't love her that she was just another warm bed. Sure, he had vowed never to lie again, but had he believed? Not really. Dean wanted her safe, he wanted to make up for his countless sins, but did that mean he'd never have any fun? Not if he could help it. The slayer admired him, his determination to do what was right, (or as close to right as a worthless hunter like him could) but surely, he could do it less... moodily. Anyway, this was less about him and more about protecting the woman he loved. He didn't even pick Valentines Day to leave –it was just an opportunity like everything else in his broken life. An opportunity for her to not have a useless hunter who she had gifted with her first time. Damn he was an asshole, he hated himself for doing this, but He needed to make a clean break so she could move on and not worry about him and place herself in danger for his welfare.

Buffy would come to him again and again if he didn't leave now, he had been about as close as someone like him could to asking her to leave with him run off that night and marry him. His dad would have gone ballistic.

He watched the Sunnydale Sign fade in his rearview mirror.

He knew it wouldn't be long before she went to him. It was always Angel that she ran to. He understood the seductive nature of darkness better than anyone, and he understood the constant struggle against it. Yes, she would go back to the vampire and fight the good fight and slay demons and all that... but would the Vampire seize her vulnerable state? Surely, he wasn't that opportunistic –was he?

Dean gave himself a mental shake and slapped the grin back on his face, ignoring the fact that it didn't feel real. Make yourself believe it, and it'll become real, he reasoned. He was good at that denial thing; after all, he had spent his entire life denying what he wanted-what he longed for what was one more thing in the scheme of things.

He hadn't even noticed when he pulled over hours later to grab a quick bite. That he wasn't still in the Impala with a gaping wound to his heart. The waitress brought over his order, and Dean flashed her a winning smile. Pretty waitress! "Looks good." He said in a voice something like a growl. The color rose in the waitress's cheeks, the possible double meaning not lost on her.

She met Dean's eyes hesitantly. "Yeah... you get some great stuff in here." She replied.

Dean nodded. "Got that right." He shook off the familiarity of the exchange and dragged her eyes over the blonde.

"You haven't tried it yet." The waitress said, growing more confident under the man's appreciative gaze.

"It gets better?" Dean smirked. "Glad I chose this place..." He glanced at the girl's nametag. "... Ashley."

"Now that's not fair. You know my name and I don't know yours."

"Well it's written right there." He smirked. Ashley pouted at him and Dean felt an involuntary shudder go up his spine. "Dean." She said. Why did he hear Buffy's voice when she said his name?

The blonde grinned at him. "Enjoy your meal... Dean." She purred.

The hunter watched her walk away with a small smile on his lips. Then sighed and turned his eyes to the feast in front of him.

Dean wasn't a believer in doing things by halves. He focused on his meal like there was nothing else in the room. The blonde watched him with interest as he wolfed down his pizza like someone who hadn't seen good food in a long time. Ashley was watching him so intently that she jumped when her boss tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to a new customer. Ashley nodded and walked over, ready to take the tall brunette's order.

Dean gulped down the last of his drink and sat back with his eyes closed, finally feeling full. It was a feeling he had missed, diner food was definitely not suited to his appetites. At least it hadn't been while Buffy had been around. She had spoiled him- the homemade meals, the picnics. Damn he was getting choked up just thinking about it. He closed his eyes, drifting off in the contentment of someone knowing he did not have to live by a bell today. No one was going to give him orders now, today he was free. Because he may have done, what John wanted him to-broke the girl he loves heart but If he pushed him too far today he might get more than he bargained for.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Ashley tapped him on the shoulder. "Was it good for you?"

"Oh yeah." Dean smirked. "Now I've gotta work off another appetite."

The blonde blushed under his gaze once more and began to clear the table. "There's a club near here that's pretty cool." She murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Cathouse."

Dean nodded. "Maybe I'll see you there."

"Maybe." Ashley said innocently as she picked up the dishes and walked away.

Dean smirked to himself and threw some notes on the table. He stood up and stretched, pulled on his jacket and walked towards the door. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he turned with a grin, expecting to see the blonde again. "Yeah-"

He shut his mouth as he was met with a decidedly pissed off father. "You're late?" John said, with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Hotel. Now."

Dean just shrugged helplessly and allowed himself to be pushed out the door by John.

Fin


End file.
